The Tale of Mohan Kumar

We have all had a teacher who used a single name for every example, anecdote, question, taunt and what not.
My English teacher, too, had her favourite name. Mohan Kumar. He was publishing ads of every kind, writing notices, invitations, making posters, and was an expert in writing reports. Here’s the tale of Mohan Kumar: 

A young graduate from DU, Mohan applied for the post of Assistant Sales Manager in RT Ltd giving a fake recommendation from his principal. When he didn’t get a reply for 17 days, he tried his luck applying for the post of a Geography teacher in a reputed public school.

Alas, luck was playing hide and seek with him. He was broken; and poor. So he decided to let out his own 2 bedrooms with attached bathroom flat which a was centrally located and had a regular supply of water and electricity at a reasonable rent. Along with that, he even decided to let out his father’s shop (which was at a prime location near the metro station and was also well furnished) without even telling him. He got a lot of offers this time. And with no time, he became so rich with so many offices of his own that it was now time for him to get some people working under him.

The ad play came in again. Just the title was different. From ‘To Let’, it was now ‘Situation Vacant’. Mohan wished to have a female Secretary for his company who was not older than 30 years and had a pleasing personality.
Many came for the interview but none joined after seeing his lanky face.

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Poor Mohan was depressed again. He suffered huge losses due to a fire in his godown because of a short circuit. 10 people lost their lives that day and 35 were injured.
Thankfully, his neighbours rushed to the place immediately after hearing the pandemonium and helped out Mohan and everybody else.

After this event, Mohan decided to start life afresh. He would now beg for jobs by publishing ‘Situations Wanted’ in the local daily. He made chits of all the occupations he knew and randomly picked up one that would now become his area of expertise. ‘Athletics Coach’, said the chit. And so his new ad was ready.

Luck was with him this time. He got the job and decided to give a party for the same at the City Plaza Hotel. No party was complete without his friend, Ram. So there went the invitation. Ram came. They had fun. But Ram did not bring a gift. Mohan was planning a revenge. When Ram now invited him to HIS party, Mohan took the pen and wrote a reply ‘refusing’ to attend due to a prior engagement. Only he knew that the prior engagement was to watch the rerun of Suits before the premier.

Life was going along pretty well. For fun, he still wrote some ads in the newspaper and some notices which nobody read. When his father pressed him for marriage, he took to his dear ad once again. ‘Alliance Wanted!’

Years passed and he would now be seen designing posters for her daughter’s homework. His latest one was Save Water; Save Earth.

But the climax was when we came to know that Mohan Kumar is actually a 9-year-old boy with a pale complexion who has been missing since 7th July. And all of this; was just a lie. You are wicked, ma’am!
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Toodles!

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